just a note…

after the guests have gone

and the dishes have been washed, put away

silence with a cup of tea

full to bursting

leftovers await tomorrow

a note to say:

for those who have gone away, some too early

and those who have just arrived

to fast friends, old and new friends

a mom, sister, and two pups that i treasure

with all my heart: thanks

i gave my declaration for beautiful printed things long ago. i reiterate how much i love them now. the end of the year signals a new calendar to help keep track of the time, make plans, set dates, and dream up vacation destinations.

i present my favorites for the year to come:

night owl paper goods: critters are cute calendar

night owl paper goods: patterns are pretty calendar

snow & graham: classic

cicada studio: tea towels!

ilee: letterpress favorite

nikki mcclure: perennial favorite

looking forward to what comes next.

i’m afraid my creative energies are a little sapped on this 18th day of november. so allow me to simply tell you what’s been up.

i’ve been nano-ing all month long you see and nary a day goes by where i’m not biting my nails, lost in thought, or plotting my next move all in the name of my unnamed novel. i’m doing well, my friends, just last night i had a burst of inspiration and i pushed myself over the 37,000 word count. i have no fears about finishing this year. my fear, you see, is if i will never actually finish the book as i’m not even halfway done writing it yet.

speaking of writing (and photographing and thinking in general) have you had a chance to submit to the wanderlust review yet? the submission period for our inaugural edition closes november 30th, so if you’re still thinking about it, now is the best time to put your foot down and do it!

now here is a treat (note: this comes with no small amount of anxiety and fear on my part). for all of you who have been curious about what i’ve been writing, a small tidbit to tickle your imagination. please note, this has not been edited, so pardon any grammatical slips and the odd syntax. my novel and all the possibilities that comes with wanderlust,  it will be good way to start off your wednesday morning!

With a familiar tinkling from the string of bells attached to the handle, the door swung open, yet no one came through it. As I set down my newspaper, I observed the top puff of a knitted hat come bobbing up towards my register.

“Hello and how may I help you?” I peered over the counter and met a pair of big bright eyes staring solemnly at me.

“Is this a bookstore?” The voice asked, not at all shy.

I looked around and gestured at the floor to ceiling bookcases, each stuffed to the brim with bound and printed volumes. “As you see, young man. Are you looking for something in particular?”

“I think there is something that is looking for me.”

Folding my arms over my chest, I leaned further over the counter to better meet my potential little customer. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean,” I looked quizzically at him. “What are you referring to exactly? Are you picking up an order?”

He returned my gaze unabashedly. Without annoyance or exasperation, he took a step closer before saying very slowly, “There is something looking for me. I’ve been to several different bookstores already today, but none of them had the right feel to it. The instant I walked in here, I got that feeling. Something is looking for me.”

“Something? Looking for you?” I wasn’t sure if I should dismiss this child as one that was tugging my leg or if he was simply a little nuts. Perhaps a frazzled mother or father would come bursting through the door, sending those bells into a frenzy to apologize for losing track of their kid. I looked expectantly, hopefully at the door. But it remained firmly shut, with no walker-bys slowing down to touch the handle. The child was so earnest, so serious. I had a hard time believing he would be purposefully playing a trick on me, although with children these days, I couldn’t put it entirely beyond him. I saw the yarn puff taking off, rounding the corner and stopped right in front of me.

“I’m sorry,” I interjected, using my firmest voice, “you’re not allowed back…”

He pointed at the shelf next to my knee. “There. There it is. You see? It has my name on it.”

I swear the shelf had been completely empty before. The only online order that had been placed overnight had been picked up earlier this morning. After all, I was the one who packaged it up and handed it over to the woman who came to pick up her order. She was one of our most loyal customers, though her taste in harlequin romance novels did not exactly suit my own genre preferences. This current book, now sitting on the previously empty shelf tied up in a bright red ribbon with a tag attached to it that spelled out Griffin, had decidedly not been there before. The book looked so proud of itself, it practically gleamed at me. I looked from the book to the boy with a confounded expression on my face. Still, he regarded me with that same solemn expression, though this time around there was also some expectation behind his eyes.

“Are you going to give it to me?”

an idea board, inspired by the same friend who just got engaged. i took the cue from some boards she made for herself… butter & lemon yellows, light-as-air, whimsical, cheery, bright, and of course a touch of fun.

i’m not sure why, but yesterday i had a sudden desire to get my holiday shopping started and wrapped up asap. this has been a tough year, economically wise, so i think it is appropriate to scale back a little on presents. but the thing is, i love giving out presents. truly, madly, deeply love it. i enjoy spending hours thinking of just the right gift for each individual on my list. i like it to be personal and special, i want the person who receives it to actually use it and appreciate if not downright love it.

this year i’m thinking of doing things a little differently. but what it is, remains to be seen. now here is a little  something to get you inspired for the upcoming holidays, one of my favorite times of the year and when the clock seems to move with a fleeting foot.

 

i hope you all had a happy halloween! sorry i was away, i had a special visitor and decided to take a long weekend. any notable mischief i missed?

our party theme this year was mad men. everyone got gussied up mad men style and everyone looked smashing (even the two who came as swine flu and beat up rugby player).

we served cheese balls and utz potato chips, not to mention a plethora of vodka cocktails. how very mad men of us.

we even managed to do the twist, faithful drinks still in hand.

and now that november has started, my nanowrimo has also begun. it’s been my best start yet word count wise, however, i find i’m already skipping down writer’s block. let’s hope i find my way out soon.

november also signals the start of the holidays for me. i have a lot to look forward to and be thankful for. posting may be light this month with novel writing, but as i continue to be inspired, everyday will continue to be spelled out. one word at a time. cheers, my friends!

this morning i felt inspired to put together a collection of all things related to love, relationships, and beauty as inspired by the recent engagement of a dear, dear friend. etsy is a vast trove, but  i have my special list of favorite sellers. so it was to them i turned to in order to find these treasures of love.

1. raining hearts print by jennipenni 2. trees band set by ashton 3. ceri necklace by neawear 4. arzberg lined vase by coucoumadame 5. heart print by littlehendesigns 6. golden wings headband by schlomitofir 7. fuschia print by sweeteventide 8. thinking of you card by upup 9. secret garden terrarium by doodlebirdie

you know that song, here comes the sun… la la la la? well, in my head right now is… here comes the rain, la la la la.

after 2 years of going back and forth i finally got my first pair of hunter rain boots. all i have to say is: what took me so long?

rain is here to stay now that we’ve moved properly into the autumn and winter months in seattle. it’s dark by 6pm and everyone’s social life has dwindled. my sister clamors for “cozy food” – soups, stews, hot buttered bread, and baked pasta dishes. the puppies enjoy nothing more than to be buried beneath thick blankets, curled up like little cinnamon rolls.

last year in an effort not to spend the money on rain boots, i thought i made do with a pair of low heeled leather jcrew boots i had purchased on sale awhile back and lived in the recesses of my closet (impulse buy). but those boots failed miserably when it came to protecting my feet from getting wet. as a result, i didnt even bother to wear socks whenever demian and i went for an in-the-rain jaunt. my feet always got soaked, i could feel the water seeping in and it was gross. plus i had to meticulously clean them carefully after each outing whereas i can just hose off my hunters.

this year i look forward to the swamp that dahl field will become when the rains arrive. demian, like a true scottish dog from the highlands, loves to romp in the rain. whiskey on the other hand is much more lady-like and dislikes getting wet, but she loves the park, so she’s going. if only they made little doggy rain boots as well. my feet with stay comfortable, dry, and with the fleece hunter socks i’m also ordering,  i’ll also be warm. rain boots and rain coat together, this gear has me looking forward to any and all in-the-rain jaunts from now on.

i’m sure other rain boots out there would work just fine. but after my 2 year long search… if you want quality, comfort, style, and a proper boot shaft (my requirements, respectively)… i am convinced nothing will beat the hunters. for how much use i will get out of them living in seattle, they will be well worth it. so let the rain and wet come!

*this post was driven purely by excitement, i was not contacted by secret hunter marketing agents alas

it gets better. make way for the laughter and the smiles. just a smidge of guilt as an aftertaste. we all know that life goes on and on and on again.

foot smacks on the pavement. counting the steps taken to get to the goal- a wilting island in the middle of a concrete road. then back, back home to collapse, to rest, maybe to even cry a little. to run with death on my mind and matthew in my heart. each breath, each stride in an attempt to rid myself of darkness and brooding. the cool autumn evening wanes rather than stretches. eyes closed and full speed ahead, scattering memories in my wake.

it gets better. you will see.

this post was written yesterday, but i didn’t have the heart to publish it. today it’s resigned acceptance. i know all the questions and thoughts in my head are silly and useless. but i thought them nevertheless. and so here we are.

writing is therapy.  and so i’ve approached writing during various times in my life when i felt in need.

today, right now, is such a time. after lunch, i return from a jaunt to my favorite bookstore to an email. you’ve been sent a private message via facebook. while simultaneously being on the phone with my sister about the pear tart she’s picked up for our mother’s birthday today, it takes me two reads before i can register… matthew committed suicide on monday. matthew committed suicide on monday.

matthew committed suicide on monday?

matthew committed suicide on monday.

i went back and read the last chat we had – in august, he was looking for a job and wanted to know if my firm was hiring. i went to facebook to see the last message status update before it happened – he was starting a temp job and excited to be working again. i  also saw some messages expressing sorrow and grief and love from his friends and his boyfriend – those broke my heart.

what the hell? why? what was he thinking? how did we all not know? could anything have prevented it? it is what it is and there’s no turning back… but i just feel at a loss. how typical a feeling of friends and family members who are coming to terms with a suicide, right? being smacked upside your head with the shock and wondering why and what could we have done and how?  i cannot imagine him getting to the dark and awful place that made him do what he did. i wish i had seen him more recently – gone on another one of our “power lunch dates,” was it my turn to buy or yours? i don’t even remember now. i wish we had spoken more the last time we talked – about things other than jobs. i wish i had commented on his message status last week – good luck, matthew. but it’s all too late now. and for that i feel sorry.

i hate this feeling of regret. i mourn the loss of my friend. our friendship began in vienna, the city of dreams and brought us back to seattle,  the city that houses so many who love you.

matthew, i will miss hearing your laugh. you will forever remain the king of saying the most brilliantly random things that made me laugh.